Love of Mine
by toolezbionic
Summary: When Craig finds out that his wife is about to die he does everything he can to make the few hours she has left mean something to her and their family. First Degrassi fic.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N; Okay, so I am guessing that this story that I have been working on for the past few weeks really sucks. Half of it I spent too much time on and the second half was very hastily written. It hasn't been beta'd, but I wanted to post it before the movie came out this Friday.**

**I was inspired to do this after hearing the song "I will follow you into the dark" by Death Cab and is written in two parts. The next part should be posted tomorrow or Friday morning.**

**Also note that the full "Rescue You" song is in this, so if you haven't heard it and want to be surprised for the movie, then you can just skip it. I did write some scenes in here that I based off of the promos for the movie. I don't actually know anything that is going to happen.**

**Love of Mine**

Craig Manning burst through the doors of the hospital with sweat damp on his forehead and fear stricken in his eyes. Not knowing exactly where to go he looked around like a mad man to try and get someone to help him. "excuse me, miss?" He said a little to forcefully to the nurse nearest to him. "My wife...she- i got a call saying she collapsed and was taken here." he said in panic.

"What's the name of your wife?" It didn't even look like she was paying much attention for she was staring down at the papers before her and never giving Craig any eye contact.

Frustrating him he blurted out "Eleanor manning" in a loud and harsh tone so the nurse would look up at him.

"Just a moment, sir. Just let me look on the computer to see where they have her."

Craig let his restless fingers tap away at the counter as he waited anxiously for this women to throw him a bone. It was apparent that she really didn't care that he wanted desperately to see his wife. If she did she wouldn't be going so impossibly slow to check the information while humming a jaunty tune. "Please, I need to get to her."

"It will just take a second here-"

"Fuck that! Second's over! Where is my wife, Damn it!" he slammed his hands hard onto the surface of the counter causing a few of the people in the waiting room to look up. He didn't care. All he cared about right now was being there for Ellie when she needed him.

"Calm down, sir!" She huffed. "See, she is in the hall down to your right in room 117."

And with that he went dashing down the hallway, looking at the numbers on the doors until he found the one she was supposed to be in. In a mere ten seconds he reached her room and looked in through the window to see her in there. And then he saw Ellie lying on a bed unconscious with wires and machines attached to her and the doctor checking their readings. His heart pounded with worry.

Craig barged in without waiting for the doctor to come out and tell him what was going on. "Oh my god, Ellie!" He gasped at the sight of her.

The doctor they had been working with, Dr. Reeds, for the past ten and a half months turned to see Craig standing there with his mouth gaping in shock. "Craig. It's good you're here." He said before turning to the nurse assisting him and led Craig out of the room.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Ellie- She is going to be okay, right? She still has about half a year left." He said, not taking his eyes off her window.

"Yes, I know we said after the results of the Campath treatment and the transplant she had about that much longer to live, but the cancer came back and quicker than we thought it could."

"So then you are going to give her the treatment again and she will be fine again?"

Dr. Reeds looked down at his shoes for a short moment until he looked back up into his eyes, sympathy written all over his face. "I am very sorry Craig, but it isn't going to work like that this time. The leukemia has spread and is affecting more of her organs and there isn't anything we can do for Ellie now. I would say that she has the rest of the night, give or take several hours."

Craig looked absolutely mind struck at the news of his beloved's pending death. "But, b-but you said that she had half a year. She still has half a year with us, with her family. You said-"

"I know that it is almost impossible for you to take in, but this is real. I am so sorry, but this is what's happening." Dr. Reeds watched as Craig bit his lip, trying to control the outburst stewing inside of him until he shed a tear that went rolling down his face instead. "She is unconscious right now, so is there anyone you want to call, or want us to call?"

This couldn't be it. Her life couldn't be over yet. The one person that he needed most in the world could not be in that bed right now ready to die. The thought just seemed impossible to him. Craig's arms went numb from just hanging at his sides and he felt like collapsing under the weight being hung on his shoulders. His brain went fuzzy, his eyes felt hot with the tears, and he couldn't get his mouth to move.

Why should he believe this guy? How did he _know_? Doctors always just relied on what the computers and symptoms say, but in the end they can't say what's going to happen. For all he knew this guy could be crazy or evil in telling him that his wife was going to die.

There was a few seconds of distant staring until Craig was able to snap out of his falling state of mind and answer the doctor's question. "Yeah, I can do it. I should do it." he mumbled quietly as he dug into his pocket for his cell phone. After four rings Marco finally picked up. "Hey Marco, You need to come to the hospital. Ellie... well... She needs you right now." He paused again to hear a reply. "Yeah, bring them too. Can you call anyone you can get a hold of and see if they can come down? People are going to-"

He choked a little on the ball of fire rolling down his throat. "They are going to have to say their goodbyes." He gave Marco a bit of time to react and then quickly added something before he could hang up. "And Marco? Can you bring my guitar? It's right in the living room. Thanks."

As Craig closed his phone shut the doctor approached him once more. "You can go and sit with her if you'd like. We expect that she should wake up soon."

"Yeah, you expect a lot of things." he snapped at him before entering Ellie's room

And there she was, eyes closed so helplessly and body surrendering to the disease she had been fighting for ten months. She was so still that if it hadn't been for the heart monitor beeping and the rise and fall of her chest he would believe that she had already left him. He walked slowly over to the chair next to her bed and took her soft delicate hand into his as he sat down.

He let his index finger trace the side of her wrist to hold onto the pulse beneath her skin. It was strange to know that soon enough that one thing that has always coursed through her will fade away forever. Her brilliant green eyes will eventually never open again and deprive the world of their beauty. He sat there and wished with all he had in him that she would open them now so he could savor it forever and, as if she could read his mind, he felt a twitch in her fingers followed by her eyelids fluttering open. "Ellie! You're awake!' he said in an excited stage whisper.

"Craig?" She said simply by hearing his voice. "What- where am I?"

"Your in the hospital. You collapsed when you were at the supermarket." Craig got up and moved the hair from her eyes and began to stroke her cheek.

"I collapsed?" Craig nodded. "What did the doctor say? Is Dr. Reeds here?" her voice was weak, but it didn't restrain her worried tone.

He paused for a second to find the right words to say. He was well aware that she knew somehow all of this was going to end with bad news. It just made it that more painful. "Yeah, he's here."

"What did he say?" she didn't look like she even really wanted to ask. When you collapse in the middle of a supermarket while already knowing you have T-cell prolymphoctytic leukemia the odds that everything was going to be fine were not on her side, and Ellie had never been good with odds.

"He said that you had a relapse and that it grew quickly to your organs before they were able to catch it." There was another beat of silence as Craig held back another tear. "He said that you most likely only have tonight left before the cancer-"

"Before it kills me?" She finished with the realization of what he was trying to say.

"Marco is getting a bunch of people to come down. He should be here soon."

Ellie didn't want to cry. She didn't want to think about all the people she would lose, the people who would lose her. That was the thing about always being a good person. You had lots of people depending on you to be there, to motivate them, and then all of a sudden it's out of your hands. But she knew that she didn't have to feel that right now. Ellie would wait for those people to be by her bedside to really believe it. Right now she just wanted to etch the feeling of her husband into her mind before she had to go away.

"Craig?" She turned her body as much as she could to face him better.

"Yeah?" Craig stood up; ready to give her whatever she wanted.

"Can you be here?"

"I'm here. I am not going anywhere." he stroked her cheek again as reassuring as he could.

"No, here." She motioned to a empty portion of her hospital bed. "Can you lay with me?"

He glanced behind him to see if anyone could object to him hopping into bed with her until he realized he didn't care. As she made more room for him he took a position on the bed so that he could hold her as close to him as he could. Craig loosened his grip on her slightly, worried that he'd break the small and fragile frame of her body. "Is that good?" Craig asked.

"Yes, just keep holding me."

"Don't worry. I won't let you go." He said letting her sink into him further.

"Good." Ellie let her mind wander as he took his fingers and played with her hair so lovingly.

He always loved to comment on her hair, since before they were even together. Back when they were 'just friends' Craig would encourage her to leave her hair down and let the frame of red bring out the color in her pale cheeks. When they finally let themselves be with one another he would say that her hair was one of her most beautiful traits because it showed off her fiery ambition to live her life the way she wanted to. But now it wasn't as vibrant as it once was. It was fading away like she was and they both felt the time running out.

Ellie remembered a time when she felt so unnoticed by Craig. She thought about how she wasn't the beauty that Ashley was, or as enticing as Manny. She was just so simple. Then she realized that Craig knew she was right when she said that sometimes simpler is better. Now, every day for the last ten years, he let her know how 'more than simple' she really was.

"Craig?"

"Yes?" He said matching her almost silent whisper.

"Do you remember L.A.?"

He let a small grin tug at the corner of his mouth as he replied. "Of course."

Refusing to let herself be depressed she matched his smile with one of her own. "It's weird to think that if we didn't happen to run into each other we might not be together now."

"No, I can't believe that. I believe that we would have ended up together one way or another."

"Yeah, well I like the way it happened."

~*~*~*~*~*~

_Summer 2009- L.A._

_The wind rolled in the warm-cool breeze of California and rustled the leaves of a palm tree hanging over the balcony. Ellie pulled the towel that was being used as a blanket further up on her shoulders and opened her eyes to find that she was alone. It wasn't moments later when she heard the glass door leading into the apartment slide open and there stood Craig wearing only a T-Shirt and pajama bottoms and had a big blue blanket balled up in his arms._

"_Hey. You're up._" _He said happily as he threw the blanket over Ellie and crawled under it with her._

"_Thanks. What time is it?_" _She yawned while she peered into the sky and saw that it was still a dark and dreamy blue with the stars being faded by the lights of the city._

"_Around three a.m._" _He warmed the sides of her arms by rubbing them with his hands. _"_You looked cold being only underneath a towel so I went in to get you something a little warmer._"

"_Good thinking. Why did we even do this on the balcony anyway? Don't you have a bed in this swanky apartment of yours?_"

"_Hey, it was spear of the moment and we just happened to be out here when it was right. Besides, who needs a bed when you get the chance to destroy your back on a brick floor?_" _He chuckled until he saw Ellie stand up with the blanket unevenly wrapped around her body._

"_I say that we don't brave the outdoors anymore. Let's go inside and I can make us some coffee._" _She outstretched her hand to take his and helped him up. Craig just looked at her with a dumbfound expression._

"_Really Ellie? Coffee at this time of night?_"

"_Yep. Coming or not? We're already up and wide awake._" _She raised an eyebrow and he inevitably agreed and followed her into the living room. _"_Plus, I would have had to get up in like two hours anyway to get ready for my early flight back to Toronto._"

"_Do you have to mention that now?_" _He stopped and took a tighter hold on her hand._

_She turned to look at the dejected expression on his face as hers too grew just as downhearted._ "_It's kind of a now thing, Craig. We just have to face it._" _She gave him a light yet heartfelt kiss on the lips and lowered her head back down as he place another kiss on her hairline. _"_I'll go get my pajamas from the bag I brought and then I can make that coffee._"

"_Alright._" _He said, already regretting letting go of her hand so she could walk into the bathroom and remain out of his sight._

_About a minute later Ellie came out and found Craig already in the little kitchen hunched over the coffee maker. _"_I thought that I was making it for us?_"

"_Yeah, but I decided to be nice and save you from trying to figure this thing out._"

"_It doesn't look hard to use. It isn't like I am technology challenged._"

_He pointed to one of the many odd looking parts on the machine _"_Okay then, what does that do?_"

_Ellie's shoulders sagged in defeat. _"_I don't have a clue. Why do you have to have such a complicated coffee maker anyway?_"

"_Because, all the stars have the latest gadgets._"

"_Alright, alright. I will leave you to it then_."

_After a minute or so of fiddling with buttons and filling it with the necessary ingredients Craig stepped away from it so it could do the rest of the work itself. In a couple of minutes it was finished, so he poured the hot beverage into two coffee mugs. He then grabbed Ellie's and lead her out of the kitchen and back into the living room. _"_Come here_"

"_What are we doing._" _She giggled lightly._

"_I have a song I wrote about you_" _He grabbed the guitar leaning on the side of a chair._

"_Craig, I have already heard 'Red-headed for trouble'. That isn't really the happiest of songs._"

"_Yes, but you haven't heard my latest._"

"_You have a latest?_" _She said starry eyed as she sat down on the couch across from him._

"_Just for you. You wanna here it?_"

"_Yeah, of course._" _Ellie crossed her legs to ready herself and listen intently to his playing. Craig leaned over the guitar and started to strum the chords lovingly._

"_I was switched off like a light,_

_a fighter with no fight._

_Staring up at the stars,_

_and giving into the dark._

_Burned out like a match,_

_at the low end of the crash._

_The moon glowed like a scar,_

_undead things go so far._

_Somehow you saw someone worth saving,_

_You pulled me back into the light._

_Now if ever I can rescue you,_

_when you need two arms to fall into._

_You know exactly where I'll be,_

_just look for me._

_Oh, look for me._

_When it seems like you have lost it all,_

_and you feel like you're in free fall._

_Going deep into the blue._

_I will rescue you._

_When every promise turns to dust,_

_and there's no one left to trust._

_When you're punchin' out the sky,_

_and you're out of alibis._

_I know how this feels,_

_when the wounds don't wanna heal._

_But I won't forget your grace,_

_Or the beauty of your face._

_Somehow you saw someone worth saving,_

_You pulled me back into the light._

_Now if ever I can rescue you,_

_when you need two arms to fall into._

_You know exactly where I'll be,_

_just look for me._

_Oh, look for me._

_When it seems like you have lost it all,_

_and you feel like you're in free fall._

_Going deep into the blue._

_I will rescue you._

_I fell into that hole before,_

_and I walked into that slammin' door,_

_By fading away,_

_to where you are today._

_Now if ever I can rescue you,_

_when you need two arms to fall into._

_You know exactly where I'll be,_

_just look for me._

_Oh, look for me._

_When it seems like you have lost it all,_

_and you feel like you're in free fall._

_Going deep into the blue._

_I will rescue you._

_I will rescue you._

_I will rescue you._

_I will rescue you._"

_As the song finished Ellie sat and stared in awe for she had never been so overwhelmed with emotions at one time. The only thing that she could think of to do was get up and give him a tender kiss that felt like no other kiss had ever felt before. _"_I love you, Craig_"

_Craig placed his hands on her cheeks and replied, wholeheartedly _"_Ellie, I love you too. I really do love you._"

_The smile on her face glowed brighter then any other smile she had ever directed toward him._

_...6 hours later_

_Ellie stood back with Craig as she watched Marco get past security with his overstuffed bags._

"_And I thought I'd packed too much._" _She chuckled almost silently and tried to distract herself from the truth, but that was nearly impossible. With the sadness of her departure welling up in her eyes she turned and looked up at Craig. _"_Look, I am not really sure how we are going to make this work with me all the way in Toronto. I mean, with my classes and you being busy with your music career we would probably barely have enough time for a phone call._"

"_I get it Ellie. Really, I do, but you should know that I am going to wait for you for when the time is right. For the past four years you have been part of my life and I am not going to let go of that. Not now._"

"_It's the same way for me._" _Ellie let a bittersweet tear roll down the side of her cheek and Craig took that as his cue to pull her into a loving embrace. She was his and they both knew that. Hell, they knew that from the day he left for Calgary. Then he let her slip away from his arms for the last time and with one of her hands still resting on his shoulder he heard her say. _"W_e'll always have L.A., right?_"

"_And I will always be here._" _He gave her another kiss and watched her back a step away._

"_I should go and catch up with Marco. The plane leaves soon._"

"_Okay, I won't keep everyone waiting._"

"_I'll see you._" _She went to walk away, but Craig stopped her._

"_I love you Ellie._"

"_I love you too._"

_Hearing her say it back gave him enough courage to let her go again, this time they got about ten feet from each other until they turned around to face each other again. In that instant something struck the two of them. They didn't know if it was some kind of magnet pull or what, but they just ran back to the place where they parted._

"_What am I thinking? I can't leave._"

"_What?_"

"_I can learn to be a journalist anywhere and the only other thing that I have ever wanted is you. I just can't leave._"

"_Are you sure?_"

"_Positive_"

_The moment she said that his lips crushed onto hers and the two of them beamed with happiness. _

_April 2009_

_Craig lived off the fuel that his audience was giving him that night. There was just so much energy in their screams that the music was just so much more naturally up beat. He loved the fans and the feeling that he got from them, but as he turned to his right during the finishing note of his song a new feeling washed over him as he saw a beautiful red head sitting at a small table with her laptop back stage._

_She would look up from her writing every chance that she could. She had tons of homework to do for her spring journalism project she was assigned at the school she transferred to, UCLA, but she didn't let that stop her from coming to see him in concert again. He had told her on several occasions that she didn't need to bother herself by going to every local concert he had, but she insisted that she that it was important and said that she could do both no problem. She made it look so easy with the smile still shown on her face as she typed fiercely at the computer keys._

_The past few months had meant more to him than any other period of time in his life and that was solely because of her and his music. Nobody supported his dreams to be a famous musician more than she did. If it wasn't for her he would of never have gone off on his own to get where he is today. And then the thought struck him when he knew that he never needed or wanted to go off on his own again. He wanted to have her with him always, so that meant there was only one thing that he could do._

_After the final seconds of the ending of his song and a loud cheering of his name came across the crowd, Craig darted off stage with his guitar still in his hand and went right over to Ellie. She looked up and reflected his smile with one of her own and said "_"_Is the concert over already?"_"

"_Marry me, Ellie."_" _He blurted out without answering her question._

_She was so taken off guard that her face twisted in so much confusion that it was hard to recognize her. _"_What?"_"

"_I want this. I want you as my wife. Marry me."_"

"_Where did that come from? When did you decide this?"_"

_"_"_Just now, but that doesn't make it any less true. I love you and all I want to do is marry you._"

_Much sooner than he expected she replied. _"_If you are serious, then I say yes._"

"_Really?_" _He didn't really think that it would be decided that quickly. He thought that he would have to do a lot more convincing as he thought back to previous experiences._

"_Yes._"

_Overjoyed he grabbed her hand, lifted her from her seat, and lead her towards the stage._

"_What are we doing?_" _She asked quickly._

"_Making the announcement._" _Again, he was surprised that she didn't try to prevent him from bring her out there to share their news with a big room packed with people, but that just solidified their engagement to stone._

_As he approached his band members with puzzled looks on their faces, Craig put a hand up and talked to his fans through the microphone with Ellie still at his side. _"_I hope that you are all enjoying yourselves tonight! You are a wonderful audience, so I would like you to be the first to hear this announcement. Everyone I would like you to meet the beautiful and talented future Mrs. Manning!_" _Giving the crowd a few seconds to show their congratulations with massive amounts of clapping and wooting Craig took the microphone again. _"_Thank you, thank you. And now you will get the very rare chance of hearing my lovely fiance on drums._"

_Ellie looked up at him with fear. _"_What!?_"

"_Come on, El._"

"_But, I suck!_"

"_You do not, so get back there._" _He encouraged making Ellie cave and she replaced Craig's drummer._

_Craig turned around and said to his band _"_We're playing 'I can't keep my hands off of you'_"

_Ellie smiled as she remembered that as the first song she had ever played with Downtown Sasquatch._

~*~*~*~*~*~

**A/N; next part will be up soon! Reviews will help the writing process so please leave me one! Thanks!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Yay! The second half to the story! I hope that this isn't to sappy or cheesey for ya. And you should really hear the song that this story is based on. It is beautiful and for a while I was obsessed with it! You can find it here: .com/playlist/17594525195**

"And then we eloped that very next week." Ellie concluded the memory.

"I am just glad that you didn't think I went off my meds when I suddenly asked you to marry me."

"I always knew that it would happen spontaneously."

Craig lingered his eyes over her face again and was happy to see that that story had put a little color into her cheeks. Her eyes always looked so heavy in their sockets and her skin looked a cold fleshy white that it was wonderful to see that she had a tad bit of life in her face when she was on her deathbed. She would need that so she could talk to her loved ones that way she wanted too, without seeing the fear they were struck with.

Just like magic, as if someone knew what he was afraid of, they turned their heads to the sound of a light knock on the door. Then in came Marco with two young children at his sides and a toddler in his arms. The girl with red hair as bright as her mother's once was ran to the bed to see her. "Mommy, mommy! Are you sick again?"

Craig stood up off the bed and place a hand on his daughter's shoulder. "Yes, mommy is very sick and very tired. That means that you have to be quieter."

"Is it the Canner again?" She asked with the common five-year-old use of mispronounced words.

"It's not Canner, it's Cancer." The boy said as he and Marco and his little brother walked closer.

"That's what I said." She claimed as she crawled up onto the bed with Ellie and cuddled up to her. "When are you going to get better? Soon is Vally-tines-day and I want you to make my hair pretty like last year."

"Abbey, sweetie. I don't think I am going to be better by then, so why don't I do it now and then later you can show Auntie Angela so she can do the same thing next week?" Ellie didn't know what she should do. How was she supposed to tell her children that she wasn't going to be around anymore? The thought that any of them would have to suffer that kind of heartbreak, especially so early in life brought more tears to her eyes.

"Why are you crying? You don't have to do my hair if you don't want to."

"It's not that. I am just very tired, like daddy said." She wiped her eyes.

Craig saw how much more stress this was putting on her. He couldn't stand here and force her to find answers to their daughter's questions, so he would answer them himself. He could also allow Ellie have a chance to spend alone with her best friend at the same time. "Hey Abbs, why don't you and your brothers come with me and we can leave mommy to talk to Uncle Marco?"

"Do I have to?"

"Yes. Now come on, off the bed." He said as he took one year old Zach from Marco's arms and headed toward the door with Abbey following closely behind. When he noticed that one of his kids wasn't with him he turned around and saw his other son standing with a blank expression on his face. "Connor? Let's go, bud."

Connor took another second and then he did as he was told with the door closing behind. As soon as they exited the room they saw someone walk toward them from down the hall. "Grandpa Joey! Auntie Angie!" Abbey giggled with glee as she flung herself into Angela's arms.

"Abbey! How's my little Punkin' Belly!" She said tickling the pudge of her stomach.

"I hate it here. Daddy won't let me in to see mommy right now because she is talking to Uncle Marco."

She continued to talk as Joey pulled Craig aside and spoke in a whisper. "Hey, how is she doing?"

Craig ran his free hand through his hair and said sorrowfully "Not good. And she is just going to get worse. They say that she only has tonight left."

"Oh Craig, I am so sorry." Joey put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Thanks, but I can't think about how this is affecting me right now or I will lose my mind. I have to focus on her and the kids."

"Of course, is there anything that you need me to do?"

"Yeah, take Zach. He's getting a little tired and I need to talk to Abbey and Connor."

"Sure." He said as Craig passed the little boy over leaving a kiss on the top of his head.

Craig turned to see Abbey and Angie still having a tickle war and noticed how happy she was when she didn't have any idea what was going on. He didn't have the slightest idea of how to tell her because there was no way to make it right. There was no other outcome than seeing her and Connor receive one of the biggest emotional blows they will have in a lifetime. Craig has been through a lot in his life, but the memory of losing his own mother still vividly stuck out like a thorn. But he had to do this because the sooner he did the sooner they could get to the stage of just spending their last moments with Ellie without so many tears.

"Abbey, Connor? Could you come over here to talk to me for a second." Abbey broke away from Angie and ran towards him while Connor calmly strolled over. "Okay, so you know how your mother has been sick for a long time?" They nodded and Abbey climbed up onto her dad's lap to hear him better. "Well, now she is getting worse."

"Did the doctors give her med-sin?"

"Yes they did, but I am afraid it isn't going to work."

"So, what's going to happen to her?"

"She's gonna die." Connor said harshly.

"Connor..." Obviously, he wanted to break it to them a little more gently then that.

"Well, it's true isn't it? You told us that this might happen a long time ago."

Abbey looked up at him in hopes that her brother was just going crazy, but she started to understand when Craig didn't answer quickly enough. "Yes. Your mother is going to die."

Within seconds she twisted her face as she began to cry loudly. "But Mommy can't die!" Craig held onto her tight as she bawled and he put an arm around Connor who's strong stare was weakened by tears after hearing his suspicions confirmed.

"I know, honey. It's hard to believe. But it's true. And I need the two of you to do me a favor."Abbey tried to maintain her crying, but it was a hard struggle to quiet herself enough to hear what he was saying. "I need you guys to let her say goodbye to people like Uncle Marco and Granny Nash before we go in there again. Then that will give you time to think of what you are going to say. Are you all right with that?" They both nodded. "Good, thank you."

They sat there for hours, letting everyone get their turn ahead of them. Family and friends shifted in and out of her room and all leaving in tears. Ellie's parents flew from their new home in the states and arrived an hour ago. They had been in there ever since. Others who had come to see her were her cousin Katy, Jimmy and his wife Trina, Spinner, and Ashley who had finally moved back to Toronto two months ago.

Craig constantly tried to imagine what was going on the other side of that door. It wasn't to be nosey, he just wanted to see how she was holding up. Out here everyone was still either sobbing into tissues or deathly silent and it all happened after they came out of that room. He was worried if this was too much for her. How was she supposed to say goodbye to so many people in so little time.

He then looked to his left and saw Connor remain as quiet as he had been ever since they found out that Ellie was sick and she had little to no chance of survival. "How are you doing, buddy?"

"Fine"

Craig sighed. "You don't have to be, you know. You can let yourself be sad."

"I can't yet."

"And why is that?" He asked, genuinely curious.

"I don't know. I mean, I am sad. I just can't think about her not being around anymore."

"I can't either. I remember that I also felt that way when I lost my mom too."

"How bad did it get after Grandma Julia died?"

Craig wasn't sure of how to answer the question, but he did know that he should avoid going in to detail. "It got pretty bad, but after I realized that there were people out there who I could rely on I was able to make the best of what I had and be happy again."

"Will I remember her?"

"You will more than your brother and sister. I would be surprised if Zach remembers her at all." He didn't even realize that until now. Zach was just barely one year old and he would have to be told that it was his mother when he would see a picture of her with no recognition. Abbey would have some blurry images, but nothing real enough. At least Connor had a better chance. "I think that as long as you have a picture and remind yourself of who she was then you will be able to remember."

"Is that what you are going to do to remember her?"

"It's a little different for me. I wouldn't be able to forget her, not even if I tried. She was too much apart of my life. She gave me you three. Your life hasn't even really begun yet, so that's why you have to have her in mind when something big happens. Like your first day of middle school, high school, collage, your wedding, and when you have your own children. Just remember that she wanted to be there."

"My friend Jenny said that when people die they go to heaven and become angels. Is Mommy going to become a angel Daddy?" Abbey asked wide-eyed as she jumped off of Angela's lap.

Ellie and Craig were never very religious. They never really believed in the concept of a god and where you go after you die, so they didn't pass the idea off on their children. Now one of them was asking a question about it in hopes that her mother would be safe somewhere and not just fade into nonexistence, so he decided to give her something that could help her. "Yes, your mother will be an angel."

Connor had already talked to them about this before Ellie had gotten sick. He wanted to know why there was such a thing called Christmas and they explained Christianity and told him that he could have the freedom to believe in whatever he wanted. He didn't have to have the same beliefs that his parents or his friends had. To this day he hasn't really decided for himself what was true and what wasn't and he had no idea what was going to become of his mother. "Hey dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Why aren't you playing your guitar? Didn't you ask Uncle Marco to bring it?" Connor pointed to the guitar leaning against the wall of the hallway.

"Yes I did. I was thinking of playing a little something for your mother. Why? Did you want me to play something now?"

"No, I wanted to practice what you showed me. I though that maybe I could show it to mom."

"Sure, go right ahead."

Connor took the guitar and started strumming, looking so much like him when he first started learning to play. He was in every way their son. A perfect mixture of the two of them with his curly brown hair, green eyes, her words, and his voice. It comforted him to know that these kids who were so much a part of her would be there as evidence that she once was. He loved his family so much and he thought that the kids were the only thing that were going to get him through this.

Fifteen minutes later the hospital room door finally opened again and out walked Ellie's parents. Her dad was holding her mom close to him as she wiped off the watered down mascara off her face. "Ellie is asleep. She nodded off a few minutes ago." Mr. Nash said. "Are we the last ones?"

Craig looked around and saw that that everyone who had come to see her had already been in her room. "Yeah, I think you are." Craig got up and went over to take the baby from Joey. "Thank you everyone, for coming down. You guys should all go home and get some sleep. I can call you in the morning." He said before him and his children went into her room.

"Can I lie down with her?" Ellie looked frailer then ever. Her skin whitening before his eyes and breathing becoming quieter yet more labored. He could see her health deteriorating her body for the last few months like the grains of an hour glass, but now it was like the glass was shattered and the sand spilt all over the floor. The beautiful glow she always had was now practically gone and it was horrifying. How Abbey and Connor kept themselves from shrieking he didn't know.

"Yes you can, but be very gentle." Abbey was careful not to make too much noise as she walked over and climbed up next to Ellie and, surprisingly enough, Conner did the same on the other side. Craig just sat in the chair beside the three of them with the baby asleep against his chest.

He sat there and watched as Abbey and Conner fell asleep and then everything went very quiet. The silence merged with the darkness of the room and seemed to wrap them all together. It made him very aware that there were exactly five living beings in the room at this moment and then it occurred to him. How could it ever be different if they all remained in the same place? How can every thought she has and everything she is just vanish into thin air? They say that you can't make something out of nothing, so than how can you make nothing out of something? There was so much in her brain and personality that it seemed impossible for it to just disappear. Craig then decided to just make an acception to the no heaven and not believing in religion and know that she will be out there somewhere waiting for him to follow her.

Sure it was a little cliche, but Craig could not give up on how incredibly unfair this was. They were happy, despite their troubles with their parents, cutting, illnesses, addictions, and the heartache they caused each other in the past they were truly happy. They had gotten past all the horrible periods of their lives and found a way to fix the other. He knew that there was no way that he would be put back together so well if it hadn't been for her. She had succeeded in saving him and now it was his turn to do the same for her again, but he couldn't. It was out of his control and he felt so utterly helpless. He didn't have any idea of how to fix what was broken this time.

"Craig?" His eyes broke away from staring at the inside of his eyelids and he saw Ellie waking up, still alive yet barely.

"Good morning." He whispered.

"Morning? What time is it?"

Craig was careful to keep his torso perfectly still, so he could not wake the child sleeping on him as he checked his watch. He was almost afraid to read the numbers on it's face because it just seemed like time was running out so quickly. "6:03"

Ellie let a little smile appear on her face while saying "I made it through the night." She looked at her sides to smile wider when she saw Abbey and Connor sleeping next to her. Ellie weakly lifted her hand to brush a red curl away from her daughter's mouth and left a kiss on her cheek before doing the same to her son.

"Do you trust me with them?" Craig asked with sudden worry that just occurred to him of how stable he was to raise them on his own.

"What do you mean?"

"You know what happened to my dad when my mom left him. And then she died and I wasn't safe with him anymore."

"You weren't safe with him ever, not even before she left. You haven't laid a hand on our kids."

"But I could change. I know that I love our kids and that I have never thought of hurting them, but what if when you leave I turn into some completely different person?"

"Craig, look at me." she said harshly, if not a little bit angrily. "I trust you with the kids. You are not your father and you won't become him. You may be bi-polar like he was, but you wouldn't beat our children." She got a bit annoyed when Craig didn't seem to be buying it. "Hey, I have seen you when you are so-called 'crazy' and I have seen the way you are when you keep taking care of yourself and there isn't a doubt in my mind that you four will be fine. I wouldn't let myself die like this if I thought that my kids were in danger. The thought of it is just ridiculous."

After seeing how much this was straining her voice he jumped with his own voice to stop her. "I'm sorry. I guess you're right. I am probably just letting all my worries hit me at once."

"Please don't let them bug you now. I just want things to be peaceful right now and for us to just talk like we normally do. No sadness, just us. Okay?"

"What about bittersweet?"

"That I could deal with. We have had a lot of bittersweet in our life and I think it does us good."

"Alright, then do you think that you are strong enough to let Zach sleep on you for a few minutes?"

"Are you kidding? I am strong enough to hold him all day." She said out stretching her arms to accept the child into her arms. "What are you going to do?"

"I am going to play you a song." He said grabbing the guitar Connor left in the corner.

"You have your guitar here?"

"Yeah, I had Marco bring it."

"So what are you going to play?"

"Something that fits the moment. Like I said, bittersweet." Craig sat down again and rested the guitar on his knee. The fact that this was probably the last song he would ever play for her was mind boggling. After so many times of watching her light up as he struck his first chord, he wanted to make this last time more perfect than any other. "It isn't any of my songs, but it is something that I know we both love."

"Then by all means, play."

"Alright, here we go...

Love of mine some day you will die,

But I'll be a close behind,

I'll follow you into the dark.

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white.

Just our hands clasped so tight,

Waiting for the hint of a spark.

If heaven and hell decide,

That they both are satisfied,

Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs.

If there's no one beside you,

When your soul embarks,

Then I'll follow you into the dark.

In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule,

I got my knuckles brusied by a lady in black.

And I held my toungue as she told me,

'Son fear is the heart of love',

So I never went back.

If heaven and hell decide,

That they both are satisfied,

Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs.

If there's no one beside you,

When your soul embarks,

Then I'll follow you into the dark.

You and me have seen everything to see,

From Bangkok to Calgary,

And the soles of your shoes...

Are all worn down.

The time for sleep is now.

It's nothing to cry about,

Cause we'll hold each other soon,

In the blackest of rooms.

If heaven and hell decide,

That they both are satisfied,

Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs.

If there's no one beside you,

When your soul embarks,

Then I'll follow you into the dark.

Then I'll follow you into the dark. "

There were no tears when the song was finished, just her smiling just as she always had, from the first chord to the last. "'I'll follow you into the dark'. Hey, you aren't actually planning on following me into the dark, are you?"

"No, not yet. Not until fate takes me, I guess you could say. So, that means you will have to wait for me again."

"I always have before when I needed to." She sighed in relief after hearing that he wasn't planning on doing anything stupid. "Wow, I have always loved that song. It was actually one of my favorites for a while."

"What tore you away from the Death Cab classic?"

"Anything by you, basically."

"You want me to play something else?"

"Nothing specific, I just want to hear you strum."

"What ever you want." he obliged by just playing a simple yet beautiful tune.

He sat there for a while as he watched her close her eyes to take in every note he played so she could keep it with her. As time went by things mysteriously seemed to become quieter and quieter until he suddenly heard the loudest noise in the world being a stringing high pitch beep of Ellie's heart monitor.

...

Craig walked out of her room with the kids, Abbey crying into his jeans. He didn't really know who to expect to be out there waiting for them in the hallway, honestly he expected there to be no one, but he was corrected when he saw Ellie's parents and Marco sitting in the chairs cross from him. They stood up at the sight of them. "She's gone." He managed to choke out before him and everyone else sobbed the way Abbey did.

###

_If heaven and hell decide_

_That they both are satisfied_

_Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs_

_If there's no one beside you_

_When your soul embarks_

_Then I'll follow you into the dark_

_Then I'll follow you into the dark_

###

And so, after spending years without his Ellie, Craig outlived his life and caught up with the girl that always walked ahead of him and he followed her into the dark.

~*~*~*~*~*~

**A/N: Ended a bit abruptly, I know, but it's late and I wanted to finish this tonight. I might adjust it later. **

**Hope this didn't put you in too much of a downer. I seriously think that the reason that it took me months to get going on this story was because I wanted to avoid writing Ellie's death. Finally I realized that I needed to get a move on with this thing, or I would never get around to it. **

**Well, I have another Crellie fanfic in the works, but I want to get a few more chapters actually finished before I post the first one. I won't spoil the surprise of what it is about, but I will give you a hint. The thought came to me after hearing one of Stacey Farber's podcast on and I think that it was her latest one.**

**Hope you enjoyed this sad little story and I hope to see you readers follow my next story! Review because it makes my day, and when I am depressed I don't write.**

**Thanks!**


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